Full Moon in Virgo Self Reflection- February 2019

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are."

- Anaiss Nin

With each Moon cycle I like to slow down, pull inward, and self reflect. Holding a conscious awareness of the natural earthly cycles and my own internal rhythm, in juxtaposition with where I have been and where I am now, serves as way to evaluate what I'm feeling and assess my personal growth in relation to the intentions set with each cycle. On February 19th the Super Full Snow Moon in Virgo hung it's practical, grounded, righteous energy high in the night sky. A Super Moon occurs when the Moon's orbit is closest to the Earth, making the Moon appear bigger and brighter. Our ancestors tracked the seasons by following the lunar cycles, the Full Moon in February was refereed to as the "Snow Moon" because there was snow on the ground. In some cultures it was called "The Hunger Moon" or "The Storm Moon". The Full Moon in February fell in the astrological sign of Virgo. Virgo is an Earth sign therefore brings well grounded nurturing, practical energy. The energy of Virgo has firm footing in the details and fastens itself tight to the honorable way to do things. The February, 19th, Virgo moon is the second Virgo Full Moon in a series of 3 Moons, the first one hailing in September of 2018 and the last saluting us in August of 2019.

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When I am preparing for or reflecting on a Moon cycle I look to see where the astrological phase falls in my natal chart (astrological birth chart). Depending on where the astrological sign falls in your natal chart is how you will be affected spiritually, emotionally, within your relationships, and day to day activities. I personally have Dark Moon Lilith in Virgo, my South Node also Falls in Virgo. Dark Moon Lilith represents "the cosmic void", from the void of darkness, both cosmically and physically we are grown and birthed. Lore says that "Lilith" was Adam's first wife. Lilith (meaning the night) was created from dust, as was Adam, therefore in the fabrication process they were created as equals. Lilith refused to submit to Adam sexually and fled from Eden. Adam sought God out for another companion and Eve was created from a rib of Adam deeming her of unequal value. Lilith is associated with the serpents and often depicted as a thief of newborns and a seductress. She embodies the traits of a dark goddess, freedom, sensuality, and untethered freedom.

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“Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.” 

-Mark Twain

Black Moon Lilith in Astrology represents our darkest, most uninhibited, nature. The untamed compulsions and desires that we keep hidden away in darkness, like the dark side of the moon or the dark moon.Lilith in my natal chart falls in Virgo. People with Lilith in Virgo are intellectually driven, innovative, and can gather and digest information quickly. Lilith in Virgo people allocate their attention to details and pick up on social queues and patterns that others do not. These people are Sapiosexuals and want to see your brain long before they see your body. Lilith in Virgos are eloquent, analytical and posses an affinity for mathematics, language, literature, natural and behavioral sciences. People with Lilith in Virgo are extremely intuitive and can be sensitive to external conditions. Young Lilith in Virgos may have felt the need to repress their intellect, sensitivity, sexuality and intuition in order to appease others. As children they may have experienced rejection and or humiliation, resulting in shame of the body, sexuality, and sense of self. As adults they deal with this sense of shame by repressing their desires and thrusting all of their energy into their work, scholarly, and creative endeavors. They are fiercely competitive and hope to achieve to avoid the pain of rejection. Their keen intuition and affinity for analyzation allows them to interpret the desires of the mind in others. With the need to please they use this attribute to their advantage, running their fingers sensually through your hair, caressing your face and stroking the mind instead of the ego. Lilith in Virgo sees into your mind and is eager to please.

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"Most people in our society share a peculiar belief: We imagine that we should be able to establish a rich and satisfying relationship with someone we love, even if we have never learned to relate to ourselves in a rich, satisfying way."

"We often don't see that how we relate to another inevitably follows from how we relate to ourselves, that our relationships are but an en extension of our inner life, that we can only be as open and present with another as we are ourselves." 

- John Welwood

Astrology, like many other tools is a system to dive into the vastly deep pool of our existence. Part of our existence lays in our shadow self. Our shadow self is the parts of us that we have deemed dangerous and abnormal. Our shadow self is our wildish nature, the primal instincts that drive us. When we suppress our shadow, we suppress half of ourselves and half of our power, for we are both the darkness and the light. When we integrate our shadow we have access to inner resources and wisdom. The cyclic nature of the universe brings about our karmic patterns and birth agreements habitually touching them, like the spiraling architecture of the Golden Spiral found in the essence of nature. The path to enlightenment is not a straight line, but rather a spiraling of opportunities that gives us a chance to heal our wounds over and over again.

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When we review lunar and planetary phases in relation to our astrological charts, we find evidence of our own growth and our karmic patterns. When I look at the Full Moon in Virgo, in the spring of 2018, up until the Full Moon in Virgo of February 2019, I'm looking at a year long cycle. A cycle of death and renewal. A cycle of beginnings and endings. A cycle of completion. As a child that aged out of foster care, rejection has been a considerable theme in my life. My ability to reach into the minds of others and anticipate their wants and needs, was a survival tactic. The angsty ploy to suppress my own desires and distract myself with achievement is a desperate attempt to avoid the shame of simply having needs and wants. My human experience has expressed to me that it's not in agreement with societal norms to have wants and needs of my own, in result I feel shame. I overpower the stench of shame with things to do, with things to achieve.  Under the grounded energy of Virgo I have spent the last moon cycle looking at my darkest nature in a practical way and am in the process of integrating those fragments of myself.This is a piece of my karmic pattern, a pattern to break. A pattern or encryption cannot be broken before its seen. We must see the encrypted patterns of life experiences, before we can break them.